I have recently made a goal to not try to change into something perfect overnight and then if it doesn’t happen then quit and say F’ it. Now I just say I will improve my life for the better a little each day with a few things. I also tally up in my head the good things I have done each day because having BPD (Bipolar Disorder) sometimes or often I can be very hard on myself. I try to apply this principle to all aspects of my life (family, work, hobbies, etc) Also having BPD, things can be awesome one day and then blah the next which can be confusing. And I am always searching for the next best thing, novelty and new things I am always craving.

I recently decided to give kitesurfing another try, I tried it in Dominican Republic in 2018 and it was challenging but I will go to Long Beach where it is very popular and get back out there to fulfill my goal of learning this skill. It feels amazing being in the water and the wind, it’s also scary so I can face that fear and hopefully it will all work out. I also started playing pickleball about a year a a half ago and got certified to teach recently. I love playing but get a bit tired of the lack of courts and having to wait to play but once again the positives outweigh the negatives. It is fun, keeps me fit, it’s social, competitive and I love paddle sports (ping pong, tennis, racketball, etc) because the coordination involved. It also keeps your mind focused and you are never thinking about your problems because it’s so fast paced the way the score keeping goes, it’s also mostly doubles so you have to be able to get along with people and deal with all types of people because the paddle system ( you put your paddle in the paddle slots and wait to play and usually I show up alone and always pick up games are easy and I also know a lot of the regulars here in Burbank. I also taught my 10 y/o, Sophia, pickleball and tennis, she is very good so it’s a great way to bond with your kids if they enjoy sports.

I also am trying to improve my fitness and health and have been swimming a few times a week for about an hour each time. I like this type of workout because it’s relaxing being in the water, I am probably part dolphin 🙂 but it’s very zen and complete opposite of pickleball, I just swim to feel good also but there is no competitive aspect like other sports other than staying in the water longer and swimming faster so you have to motivate yourself with this so I try to go over an hour swimming now but I feel exhausted afterward but i started only swimming about 20 minutes so things like that, trying to get better every day. Of course the downside of more exercise can be more pain and as I am dealing with chronic lower back pain for the last 15 plus years I have to manage exercise and rest otherwise I get in a lot of pain so I have to take it easy and realize I am not as young as these guys I am playing pickleball with and be realistic.

Parenting is also a skill that I try to get better at every day. Being an ‘old dad’ and once again having chronic back pain along with BPD II, and my dual diagnosis (panic attacks, OCD, phobias) it can be hard to keep up with my little one so I try to get better with communication and trying to set expectations as she doesn’t understand that I can’t keep my energy level and mood up all day like some, I must rest and not become overwhelmed or it could spiral into something bad.

Work and getting by day to day has always been hard for me so I use all the tools out there to try to deal with stress like meditation, exercise, diet, music, and giving myself a break, as I have said, people like me tend to be hard on oneself so a reality check and overstimuation check is always needed, being kind to myself helpe me be kind to others.

Some recent hacks/improvementsI have started to do are: Trying to store more foods in glass and avoiding plastic (I went to IKEA and bought a bunch of glass jars for only $2.99 each and I feel better for health and environmental reasons to stay away from plastic. Another is to discard something you never use whether it be clothes or random stuff in the kitchen drawer, and just donate and throw away, slowly declutter, I used to feel conflicted on this but for the most part I just say ” I no longer use this but someone else can use it so let me help someone else and also myself and each time and each item I get rid of I feel better. I no longer do long to do lists that I have to finish in a day, instead I just say I have to do these things this week and just do it when I feel like it, I usually never force myself to do things all in one day and it take pressure off me. Finally, I am saying NO to things, like some things that may cause anxiety or panic or too much fatigue. Setting boundaries with people and events for example. I can ‘blame’ it on my mental health usually and people understand, and I don’t abuse this because I try to put myself out there and be there for people and do activities and have a life but sometimes you have to pump the brakes and take time for yourself.

Getting a little better each day is a good goal and not beating yourself up for past mistakes. Saying YES to myself and NO to other people is sometimes necessary in order to make things happen.